From the moment you see Dan Haren's twitter handle — @ithrow88 — you know the recently retired starting pitcher will be a good follow.
He's open, he's honest and on Monday afternoon he was at his self-deprecating, Twittering best.
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Without further ado, a sampling of his gems ...
I went into almost every start the last few years thinking... How the hell am I gonna get these guys out
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016I would count out the days about a month in advance to see if I was gonna pitch in Coors field.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016I had to take Imodium most days I pitched to plug myself up. 💩
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016My only superstition was to make sure I had 2 glasses of wine the night before I pitched. This ties in with the Imodium,
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016I gave up so many homers cause I didn't wanna walk people. That and cause I threw 85 mph meatballs sometimes.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016I only hit like 5-7 people on purpose.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016Sometimes when the count was 3-1, I would just throw it down the middle and hope for the best. People pop up in batting practice right
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016When your 1st baseman is pushing 300lb's, you gotta bust your ass over. https://t.co/yFvxO2J2lJ
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016Thank you, Dan Haren. Thank you.